06.30.08

Expect Regulation

Posted in Rants at 1:14 pm

On Saturday, scientists at the Large Hadron Collider announced they have discovered the Higgs Boson particle. While ordinarily this would be good news, discovery of the particle has triggered a freak collapse of the spacetime axis, resulting in massive worldwide time inflation. In international trading last night an hour closed at seventy-one minutes, and future futures traders are speculating that an hour could reach a hundred minutes by the end of the week, if “the end of the week” ever actually gets here.

2 Comments »

  1. Grey said,

    06.30.08 at 4:08 pm

    The funny thing is there are actually people that have campaigned against the LHC in case it accidentally creates a block hole or destroys the universe or something. Their argument being of course that you can’t prove it won’t happen…

  2. John said,

    06.30.08 at 5:44 pm

    Yeah, well, when causality implodes, we’ll see who onwill hadwould the midlastfirst laugh then!

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