03.23.07
What Has Science Done?!
Friends, I must admit to you all now that I have been neglectful. Over the course of several months I have grossly mishandled a delicate creature left in my care; this specimen was cruelly locked in my closet since my arrival in Pittsburgh. I admit that there were extenuating circumstances, but that should not be seen as any sort of an excuse. The fact that I only learned of my carelessness whilst digging out a tie to wear only exacerbates my shame.
However, fear not. My innate benevolence towards all living things has, at times, served to allow me to make amends when I find that I have wronged another life. The balance of all life, you see, is important to me. Thus, when faced with the limp, dare I say ragged form of that which confronted me, I knew immediately what I must do. I knew that I must give back what I had so cruelly taken.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the fruits of my labor. I had the tools, I had the technology. I could rebuild it, better, stronger, faster. May I now introduce…
…the Cyber-Jigglypuff.