02.22.07
I Come Not To Praise Him, But To Bury Him
Ladies and gentlemen, I have to say one thing before I reveal the name of the man against whom I have struggled. I ask only one thing of you, one trifling little thing before I entertain you. This man, this once-man, against whom I and my people have labored; do not think ill of him for my sake. In my own way, what he was is deserving of my respect. Few mortal minds can gaze upon the vast, unending horrors that lie beyond the veil of our so-called reality and remain sane. I do not fault this once-man for trying. His ideas were once sound, his motives pure; but, my brothers and sisters, he has become corrupted! He is no longer a man, no longer what he once could have aspired to be. All vestiges of humanity have fled, the as the light flees from the encroaching shadows. This once-man serves not the light any more than the foul monstrosities he now worships serve the even older Things in the darkness. Where once was sanity, there is only the hollowed remains of a mind shattered by the lifting of the veil, the parting of the fabrics of reality, and a glimpse at the untold horror, the sheer futility of his battle, that lay in the waiting nether-regions of our world. Do not think ill of this once-man for his intentions, foul as his pursuit of them has become. Instead, think ill of him for daring to toy with powers with which he had no business consorting. He shall be damned for shunning the path of righteousness, for turning his eyes from the gift which has been endowed to all of us by our Creator, be he our father or Our Father; yes, this once-man shall surely rest in the depths of hell for daring to tamper with the free will of another man.
And now that I’ve built this up to a ridiculous amount of hype, the denouement:
All right, everyone raise your hands if you saw the gag coming. I couldn’t resist, honestly.
Extra-special thanks to Kat and Andrew for the shirt.